S2E5 Blending Traditions and Finding Balance -- Michelle's Immigration Story

In this engaging podcast episode, hosts Michelle and Koji explore the unique journey of Japanese immigrants adapting to life in the U.S. They delve into the cultural crossroads and identity challenges faced by these individuals, from nostalgic childhood dreams influenced by American commercials to the bittersweet farewell to Japanese citizenship. Through humorous anecdotes and heartfelt stories, listeners gain insight into the resilience required to blend traditions and find a sense of home in a foreign land. The episode also highlights the small, everyday connections that define American culture and the warmth of shared experiences. With chapter discussions ranging from immigration hurdles to the nuances of cheering for athletes during international sports events, this episode offers a rich narrative of embracing new beginnings and balancing cultural identities.

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Imagine you've packed your bags, wave goodbye to the land of burgers and backyard barbecues, and set off to live in a brand new country. What piece of American life would you find yourself craving first? Is it the all night diners, the endless road trips, or just the way strangers chat you out in a grocery line? What's that one thing that would make you think, ah, I miss home? That's a great question. I think what I will miss the most is the unique way Americans think. This is a interesting view of the world, a view of themselves and the kind of, you know, as much as a cliche, it is the rugged individualism of America. And that belief that anybody could be something I think is really interesting. What about you? What will you miss the most if you left America? If I left America. Um, I don't know. I like driving by myself because, you know, I could think when I'm driving by myself, but when I, you know. Oh, but I also love not driving my car, so I don't I don't know what am I going to miss? In-n-out burgers? Oh, actually, I know what I would miss more than anything would be tacos. Oh, yeah. Do you like the street tacos or American tacos? Oh, street tacos for sure. I remember, um, I went to Australia and for some reason the people I went with wanted to go to eat Mexican food. I don't know why. And then when we ate Mexican food, they had nachos. And the nachos were in pasta sauce? No. With cheese. On top. And I was like, what is this? This is not Mexican food. This is. I don't know what the hell this is. So and then when I've eaten, you know, and then when you eat like, like when I'm in Japan and I eat, you know, any food other than Japanese, it always tastes like Japanese food, right? Like like the Italian food is like Japanese food that looks like Italian food. But Chinese food is Chinese food that looks like Chinese food, but really tastes like Japanese food. Even the American food, which is, you know, like even McDonald's is better, right? So. So I'll miss that. I'll miss that taste. Yeah, I like that McDonald's in Japan. I like McDonald's in Japan. Ah. Welcome to season two, episode number five of the Japanese American Podcast. The podcast where we explore the blend of Japanese and American cultures, history and traditions, as well as all the quirky and wonderful things in between. My name is Michelle and I'm one of your hosts. And I am the other host, Koji. Michelle. What's the most interesting thing you've experienced this week? Uh, you know, I oh my God, I just had that stationary festival last weekend, and I. I've been a Japanese person all my life. I don't like hugging people, but I hug everybody. Oh my gosh. Um, because it was such a loving experience and I was hugging everybody. Why don't Japanese people hug? Because, you know, we don't want to touch anybody. Maybe we don't want to express too much emotions or love, or we don't want to show that we love hugging people. I don't know. I remember I tried to explain to my therapist when I was younger. I was like, I think I probably hugged my mom or dad, you know, a handful of times in my life, and I can't even say that. Maybe like 2 or 3 times in my entire life. And mostly it's when they're really sick or dying. But I don't think I really, you know, then she thought I was being abused and I was like, no, no, this is normal. I never hugged my parents before because they are still alive. The most interesting thing that happened to me this week was this week. I had a, uh, my son had a showcase tournament in Irvine, and it was, uh, for baseball. And it was very interesting because my son is a really good player, and on a lot of teams, he's the best player. And for him, it was good to see, you know, on a team where everyone is really good for him to see where he's at and to see how he can improve and what he needs to work on. And I think that was really good for him to kind of see that. And it was eye-opening for me as a parent to be like, all right, we need to do this, this and this and this and, you know, and all of those things. So that was that was my that was my weekend. That's amazing that your son's doing so well in baseball. Yeah. But you know, it's it's a lot of work for the parent. And nobody appreciates nobody appreciates the parent. True. That's so true. All right. This month we're diving into Michelle's incredible immigration journey. I've been counting down the days for this conversation. I just know it's going to be inspiring or maybe sad. I don't know, Michelle, are you ready to take us back? I don't know if my immigration story is incredible. It's just, I don't know. All my life. I'm just mediocre, like, I. I'm not from, like, poor family nor rich family. I'm not, like, super smart, but I'm not super dumb. I'm just mediocre. Michelle, this is a terrible story. You were walking on the beach and a submarine came out of the water. And it was a North Korean submarine. They kidnapped you. And then while you're on that ship, your dad, who's a former CIA agent, came and aboard the submarine, freed you. And you two took a US carrier back to San Diego, where you decided to live here. That sounds like a more interesting story. Let's go. Yeah, yeah, but my my immigration story is like, I don't know, I don't. It's not. It's just mediocre. How was your. I just said your immigration story. Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah. All right, so we'll go ahead and get started. I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and feel free to answer or not answer as you please. Can you take us back to the moment you decided to immigrate? What was going through your mind? I didn't really decide to immigrate. I it kind of happened in a way. I think when you think immigrant, you may envision people who come here with high expectations of better life. I don't know, like modern life working toilet. I don't know, that's what you kind of envision, but I'm from Japan and by the time I was growing up, we had nicer toilets than America. I abandoned nicer toilets to come here. That's that's what I tell everybody. I said, you know, if Japan has, you know, great healthcare, it has, you know, if you want a job, I'm pretty sure if you find a job in Japan, you know, and even the poor in Japan is not the same as the poor here. So, you know, to move here, it's not you know, I think a lot of Americans imagine the, you know, the shining city kind of thing, gold and gold. But for Japanese people, I think that that's not always the case, right? No. Yeah. I think McDonald's is better in Japan too. So I don't know why Denny's to. Denny's is better in Japan. And Yoshinoya. Yoshinoya. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yoshinoya. Here's blaa. Uh, what were your first impressions of America when you arrived? Did anything surprise you? So I came to visit America before I started to live here. I came here to visit when I was in high school, when I was 15, and I thought everything was, like, unnecessary big like Hawaii. Oreos has to come in like four rows of Oreos. Like, do you finish eating them? And like, grocery stores are huge, like aisles and aisles and aisles and aisles. That's like, I don't know, 20 times bigger than Japanese grocery stores. Like, why? And yeah, shopping cart grocery stores. Like, you could fit, like, four adults in a cart. Like, what do you buy at the grocery store? I don't know, and then the milk is like a gallon size. That's like four times larger than Japanese milk. I don't know, like, it's so everything was so big and I wasn't even. I was in California, not in Texas. How did your expectations of life in the US compared to the reality you experienced. I grew up watching Coca-Cola and American Express commercials. I thought Americans are like, easygoing, fun loving, always, you know, laughing. And I somehow thought they all spoke Japanese because, um, you know, Arnold Palmer, the, um, the golf player. Yeah, he was on American Express commercial, and he's like. Like, I was [Japanese], like, don't forget, you know, don't leave without it in Japanese. And. But he was speaking in Japanese. It's not a laugh, but like, oh my gosh, he speaks Japanese. So I thought everybody spoke Japanese and I was wrong. When you when you came to America for high school, was it a high school exchange program? No, it was just to visit friends. Yeah, for like a month. And the first year was the Olympic year in LA. I don't know, it was like I see cars. They are so huge. Freeways are so wide. Everything was so big and I was like, oh my God, it's big. And when you were here as a child, did you experience any racism or anything that was problematic or that, you know? Well, I went to a grocery store, a Safeway, and and then I didn't see anything Japanese except for tofu. I'm like, wow, that's a tofu, you know? And I was like, staring at it. And I don't I understand little Japanese, I mean little English. And these two girls, two teenage girls like blonde white girls. They were looking at my legs and they're like, oh, she's got hair and I don't have much hair. And then I just got hair and I heard it like, what? I don't have any hair. So I went home and I shaved my legs, but I don't have that much hair to start with. What were some of the biggest challenges you faced in your immigration journey? Oh, the visas. Like, um, I got a I had a student visa when I came to America to study, And I, so I wanted to study theater, but then I wanted to study history because history required less classes to graduate. And then my mom told me, hey, you gotta study business. So I study international business. But that was great because any Japanese company that I worked for afterwards, it's considered international business. So easier to get a visa than, you know, me having a history degree. Then where would I get a visa sponsor from? So that was great. And after college I had an OPT, which is an optional practical training visa. Then I work for an agency as an intern, then I work for a magazine company. I was editing magazine and I got an I Visa. And then I worked for a TV production company, which got me an H1 visa, and then they supported my green card. So I got like so many visas, but for green cards, it took five and a half years for me to get a green card, so I don't know. And then after I got my green card. So I was getting married, I got married to an American citizen, and then ten days before I was marrying the American citizen, I got my green card, so I don't know. And then my husband's job required a spouse to be an American citizen. So I become an American citizen five years after I got my green card. Do you want to talk about your Japanese citizenship as well? Oh, yeah. The Japanese. And then when I become American citizen, my Japanese citizenship evaporated. I mean, it was okay because I'm living here. I have a family here, I have kids here. I don't think I'll go back to Japan to live for now, for sure, but my, my, I don't have Japanese citizenship anymore. And they also took time to erase my koseki And they changed my name from kanji to katakana because I'm not a Japanese anymore. I'm a former Japanese. And when I saw my koseki with katakana name, I was upset and sad and I didn't know that was going to happen. I it was weird. And I'm still upset about they changing my name to katakana. Can you explain what a koseki is? Koseki is like a family registry, and each family has a little paper that has the, um, head of household household's name, address, and the family name and the relationship. And then when they, you know, when you move, you transfer the koseki to your new address. And now, I think in 2025, it's all computerized. But back a few years ago, it was still like a paper that moved with you, I think. How did you know about all these different car, you know, these visas? How did you navigate that? Was it through lawyers or just. So I got a student visa from school and you just have to show your bank. No, not your. But , like, your parent's bank statement. Hey, I have enough money to go to school, so just give me a visa. That's how you get a visa. And I think OPT is kind of like an automatic thing. If you graduate from school, you get a one year visa to stay and do internship and H-1 visa and visa, I think visa. I did it by myself. I had to go back to Japan and go to, um, American consulate. Consulate general. American embassy. To get, uh, to have an interview and get a visa and H-1 visa. I had it done through a lawyer and green card, too. I got it through lawyer. And, you know, I gave a referral to my lawyer to somebody else. And for him, it took two years to get a green card. Same lawyer, but like, depending on the timing, it might take forever or quick. It all depends because like our roles change and, um, procedures change. Let me ask you a quick question. When you watch the Olympics and there's a Japanese and an American in the Olympics, who are you rooting for? Uh, anybody who wins. Do you have any? Do you want the Japanese person to win, or do you want the American or do you care? I want both Japanese and American to win. But at the same time, if there's somebody, you know, nice looking, jumping into the water, you know, the, you know, diving, um, I'm like, go. All right. What were the moments that made you feel truly at home here? What made those moments special? I don't like every time I go back to Japan and come back to America, it says, welcome back to US. That, like, oh, I'm back. I'm. I'm I'm welcome back. And also, um, when you have a visa at the immigration level? Maybe they would. I don't know, but like when I got my passport, American passport, and came back to America and they said, welcome back, I was like, oh, I'm one of Americans. And also there, there are little things like, ah, I'm I belong here some, you know, I don't know when I think that, but like sometimes little things like, ah, I'm American. How has your identity evolved since moving here? Do you see yourself differently now? I don't know, because I. I came here as an international student, and then I become like a working person, and then I become a wife and mom and now a comedian. But at the same time, um, I don't know. I'm so embarrassed, but I didn't know I was Asian till I came to America. And, you know, people sound like people seem to be surprised that I say that because in Japan, you know, we think that Japan is just an island nation and it's always Japan against some, you know, everybody else in the world. But when I came here, I was part of Asia and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm, I mean, I belong to a bigger team. I like being Asian because it's more than just Japan. I always tell my friends that Asian is a made up Western term that in Asia, like they don't see themselves as Asian, you know. So that this is it's a very uniquely American and Western thing. What traditions or cultural practices you carry with you from Japan, and how have they shaped your lives here? I had the stationary festival just last weekend, and I had some Japanese people come in and I find myself bowing like [domo agrigato] ah, and bowing, bowing bowing. But I don't do that to other people. So like, ah. So I still buy a lot and I don't, I, I don't take my shoes off in my house because I'm married to a white guy who had the house already. I moved in to his house. So, um, he didn't take his shoes off, and then. He. You didn't make him take his shoes off? No, he didn't want to take his shoes off. I'm like, okay, whatever. So we don't take our shoes off, but I don't know, maybe like ten years ago, December 31st was on Thursday, and I used to subscribe to LA Times and on LA Times on Thursdays. They I don't know if they still do, but they have a food section and they were talking about Ozoni. How do you call that? Like a little soup that you have on New Year's Day? Yeah, it's mochi for good luck. I'm like, oh my gosh, I gotta get Ozoni or I'm not gonna have good luck. So I went to, uh, Galleria Market, which was the closest Asian store to my house, and bought all the Ozoni stuff. And I had a Ozoni. But Ozoni is good once a year. But it's not the yummiest thing that I crave. But on December 31st, you're supposed to have toshikoshi soba and I am too lazy to make soba from soba. Well, not soba noodles from scratch, but soba from scratch. So I just buy the instant soba tanuki and I have that on December 31st every year. And what is soba mean on the 31st? I don't know. I think because soba is long and I guess you have a long. Life. Right? Life maybe. Yeah, I think that's what it is. Yeah. And what about hugging? And we've kind of talked about it a little bit about hugging. That's something that you do more or. Well I did more. I did so many times more last weekend. But, uh, it's good to be Japanese because sometimes, you know, you see cute people, then, you know, I, I hug them, but if I see not so, you know, not so cute people, I'm like, ah, I'm Japanese, I don't hug. That's hilarious. I'm so mean. Were there people who helped you along the way? Any particular moments of kindness that stand out? Yeah. So, uh. When I came to America to live here, it was my first time living away from my parent's house. And I was working at the mailroom at community college, and my boss, Linda Nomura, she was like, I don't know, she was my mom, much older than my mom, but she was offended when I say grandma. She was so nice. She was like, taking care of, you know, me mentally at school also. Butch Kadomatsu. He's the one who sponsor my green card. If he didn't sponsor my green card, I wouldn't be here today. Although I got married to American Citizen, but, uh, he was. He sponsor my green card, and I'm so thankful that he did that for me. Looking back now, what advice would you give to someone just starting their own immigration journey. Don't expect too much to America. But. But at the same time, American people are so nice. Just go with the flow and don't give up. I mean, my green card took five and a half years. I've heard of some other people. You know who. It took ten years to get a green card. But then my sister got her green card in this lottery. She won the green card, and it only took her half a year to get her green card. And I think it depends also on what country you're coming from, because I think there's some countries that they don't they don't want the people here. So then it takes longer or harder. It makes it more challenging. What does home mean to you now? Home is where you feel home. And also home is where you live, I think. I lived in San Diego to go to, um, go to school, and I thought that was home. And when I moved to Los Angeles, because I couldn't find a job in San Diego e la, ewww, you know, like, so dirty compared to San Diego. But, you know, once you live here, you love LA, I love LA. I don't now I live in Thousand Oaks, and at first I'm like, oh no, it's terrible. Nothing's here. But I like Thousand Oaks now. So home is where you live. When you go to Japan, does that feel like home or does it no longer feel like home when you go back? Well, I've been living here forever now. So, um, when I go back to Japan, I feel I'm welcome. But I don't feel like home. Home? But that's my second home for sure. It should have been first home, but it's now my second home because I live here longer than in Japan. Thank you for sharing your story. Your courage is truly inspiring. I've always admired people like you and my mother, who took that leap and built their life in a new country. I don't know if I'd ever have the strength to do it myself, but hearing your journey makes me appreciate just how brave you and people like my mother are. Michelle, being that you're Japanese, what's the weirdest part of Japanese American culture to you? I don't know about weird, but like, some people tell me. Oh, some, um, like, Yonsei people come up to me and they're like, hey, I know Japanese words. Shishi I'm like, what? She-she like like be quiet. They're like, no, no, no, like pee aww that that is weird. I, I don't know if you say shishi anymore. And that's only used for, like, little kids. But that's what they learn when they are little. So I think that stays with them. And also for my boss, my first boss, Linda, she told me that there was a burglar at her house and like, I'm like, what burglar? And because I didn't speak English and she's like, ah. Nusuto I'm like, what? What? Nusuto We don't say Nusu. We say dorobo. And she said Nusuto, Nusuto, sounds like a classic, like a Edo era, like, you know, the burglar from 270 years ago. So I was like, yeah. So I thought that was fun. My mom, who's from Japan, and she came earlier than you like in 1960s, and I learned Japanese through her. And so her Japanese and my Japanese is funny because she says words that, you know, no one ever said. And she never told me that. You're not supposed to say it like. Like I'd say. Obenjo. Oh, yeah. I'd be like, what are you doing? Why would you say that? And I'm like, oh, you know, my mom told me this is what bathroom is. And then, you know, I remember when I started working at the museum, I didn't grow up with a lot of Japanese Americans. I grew up with mostly people from Japan, like my mother. And so I remember a lot of the food didn't taste like Japanese food because it's sweet. It's like sweeter. It's a little thicker, you know, it's not like. And so I remember thinking like, this is not Japanese food. It's weird. Like, you know, it tasted like a Panda express to Chinese food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it kind of tastes like Japanese but didn't taste like Japanese. And I remember thinking that was really weird. And then the other thing that I thought was interesting was like words like shikata GA nai. Oh shikataganai. Or gaman. Like, these are all words that the Japanese Americans really love. I don't love it. I don't love those words. They use it in ways that I don't think are accurate. Yeah, I think a little bit different. Yeah. Because they think it's like a like gaman is like these are positive strong words. And I'm like, ah. I think it's, it's not, it's not negative like totally negative. But they're also not positive that way that Americans would think it is. And so I'm always like I don't think you understand the cultural like what it means to those words mean in the same. And you can't like there's no translation. Like it can't be. It can't be helped is not. Like withstand. Yeah. Withstand. That's not like that's not strong. Yeah. It's because to me it means more like, well, you can't do anything about it. Like you can't do anything about it. So you might as well not complain. And you just got to keep going. And it's it's not that's not a good thing or a bad thing. It's just is. Right. Whereas like I think in America and Japanese Americans, it's like, oh we're going to be strong, you know. And I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, it's a little bit off, but hey shikagatanai. Is there any any other things that Japanese American culture. I went to um, Obon festival and they had a, um, kiosks had Dango. Um, I love dango like mochi with, like, soy sweet soy sauce. It's really good. So I wanted to have dango. Dango. And it was the donut. It was a fried donut. I was so disappointed. That's not dango. Thank you all for listening to our podcast. We are deeply grateful for your continued support and enthusiasm for the Japanese America Podcast. Your engagement, feedback and passion inspire us to keep sharing stories and perspectives that bridge cultures and bring people together. Thank you for being a part of our community and for tuning in to each episode. We are excited to continue this journey with you, exploring the rich and diverse tapestry of Japanese American experiences. Stay tuned for more exciting content, and don't hesitate to share your thoughts and ideas. This podcast is a program of the Japanese American National Museum. The museum's mission is to promote understanding and appreciation of America's ethnic and cultural diversity by sharing the Japanese American experience. Please rate, review and subscribe to our podcast, and be sure to join us next month when we look into Japanese American food. Yay. Dang o. All right. Bye, guys.